Being fully present

I have been thinking so much about how I am missing out on little nuggets of life, missing the beat of our family song, half-heartedly being a part of a conversation... all because I am distracted, pulled in different directions and at times mentally "checking-out."

Just this weekend as Mr. Steady and I were on our way to Alaska, we had a glorious "day-date" in the Seattle airport for 3 hours!  On this random fun little date, I was embarrassed how many times I looked down at my phone to see if emails came through, to see if anyone had text me back, even fighting the urge to check facebook. Seriously, would you have wanted to be on a date with me.  Ummm, NO!

For me, I am constantly tempted to stay connected to others via my phone (text, email, facebook...) that I end up lessening my connection through real face time.  Once I realized I was doing this to Mr. Steady, and we talked about it a little, I confessed how often I am doing this to my kids.  "Just a minute H, I have to finish sending this text, then i will come and see what you are working on."  "Hold on, I can't answer that question buddy, I'm trying to consentrate on what this email says."

I don't quite know what the answer is, because we all know having technology at the tip of my fingures is often so very conveniant and can save time.  However, I need to get some pesonal limits in place, because as one friend said to me (about herself) "I don't want my kids to just remember my profile, of me looking at a screen.  I want more face to face time with my kids."  Oh so true!!!

I'm not wanting to limit media just for the sake of limiting it.  I see how much time I am spending on my phone, and honestly discourages me.  I don't like it because it shows me what is really going on in my heart, I realize how often I am looking at something on my phone just so I can "checkout." For instance, I just looked at the weather on my phone 5 minutes ago, I don't need to check it again... really I am disconnecting from the chaos of my own house, and covering up my selfish heart!  Maybe that is what it comes down to, me being selfish with my time.  Anyone else struggle with this?

I truly desire to figure out what is realistic, and what is right... for me.   I want my time to honor God, to treasure the relationships that God has put in my life, to live fully present in each moment, and to be considerate of those around me, even if they are only 3 years-old!  On the other hand, I have some amazing friends and ALL of our family that live hundreds of MILES away, that I don't have the pleasure of getting enough face time with... and in these relationships, I am SO very thankful for my phone to keep me connected.  How do I balance it??  I would love prayers for wisdom, conviction and strength to follow through, to be disciplined to have some non-phone HOURS in each day. 

I want to live in the moment!

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Maybe it is my fault my kids like screen-time so much.

Monkey see, monkey do!

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I must say, this post REALLY encouraged me, especially this quote...
"
“But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this.
I did not live in the moment enough..."  by Anna Quindlin

Grow where you are planted

I have seen this quote many times before on plaques, blogs, cards and more... I have always loved it and been especially challenged by it in the last year and a half to really grow where I am planted.  I think that growing has a very conscious element to it.  We have the ability to choose to enjoy the here and now, to grow in relationships, delight in our circumstances and grow in our faith... or the counter of these, to be a hermit, to wallow in pitty and to be complacent in our relationship with God.

I am choosing to grow!  Specifically, I am choosing to make a very conscious choice to find true delight in where God has us.  There are times that I still really miss Utah.  But to be honest, we do have a great life here! I am choosing to look for things to be thankful for (not that I wasn't thankful before), but to be conscious of, acknowledging the specifics and to count it all as gifts!  I have been really challenged by a new book that I am reading "One Thousand Gifts" so, so, so worth a read! Especially if you are struggling with doubts, complacency and bitterness.  {more on this book in a later post}

Parts of life still very much feel up in the air, I want roots, I want to feel settled... yet God, has us in this place with some uncertainty.  Though part of life is not exactly figured out, I want to grow, right where I am at, in this very moment and within these exact circumstances.  I want to be thankful for life, all of it... the figured out parts and the not yet clear parts!

How about you...
Are you growing?  Are there specific things that you can see are hindering your growth... your attitude, habits, expectations or past?  Do you have relationships you can dig into that encourage growth in you? Have you smiled today?  Have you seen thankfulness transform you, grow you, mature you?  What are you thankful for today??

A new start

Happy New Year!!  I really enjoy the start of a new year, whether that be a new "school year" or a new calendar year.  I love the opportunity to evaluate and really look at my life and to see the areas where changes need to happen.  Oh, there are so many areas where I want to grow, where I want my priorities to be right not only in my head, but lived out every day!  I know this desire to make a new start is not something I experience alone.  I am sure many of you already have, or fully intend to, write down goals, priorities and resolutions for they year ahead.  I guess for me I don't want to look at this as a resolution, but more of a reminder of where my priorities need to be.  Below is a list of one woman's declaration of who she wants to be. I hope that it encourages you and maybe even gives you ideas for new areas of growth, disciple and change in your life. 

Two years ago I came across this post on the blog of another Utah mama, (Wish I could say we are friends... we have lots of friends in common if that counts, but we have never met).  Anyway... here is her list, which I have adopted and refer to OFTEN!

"In 2009 and beyond I want to be reminded to stay focused on my priorities.

I want to be the wife:  
who remembers that marriage comes before mothering.
who is a refuge at the end of my husband's tough day.  
who knows what household items are important to my husband and gets them done.
who supports my husband's down time and expresses my appreciation for his hard work and provision for our family.

I want to be the mom:
that remembers that my son's heart is more important than my inconvenience.
that chooses playing and reading over mopping and vacuuming.
that encourages fort making.
that remembers the days are long but the years are short.
that recognizes the difference between childishness and foolishness.
that leaves a legacy that points to Jesus Christ as Lord, creator and sustainer.
that teaches her sons independence and when it is time, lets go.
that has sons who know beyond all else that their mom loves them.

I want to be the friend:  

that is genuine - what you see is what you get.
who helps another friend without being asked.
who keeps a secret without doubt.
who can be trusted not to gossip.
that is loyal through tough times.
who accepts differences without judgment.
who invites a visitor in without excuses for the state of my home.

I want to be the child of God:
that loves others even when the emotions aren't there.
that serves out of pure gratitude for the price Christ paid for me.
that savors His word each day.
who is not ashamed of my faith and the journey that led me to Him.

I want to remember that life is messy.  The journey doesn't always look pretty, but we get only one journey."

Encouragement on compassion

I am currently working through a Biblestudy by Beth Moore called "Loving Well."  It is a short 4-week study that I am so blessed to be a part of.  I highly recommend it!  Everyone could use a little dose of Beth in their life... okay I will save that for another post...  Today in the study we were asked, "In what ways have you seen the love of God poured out on you through other people?  What did it look like?"

My mind went immediately to our struggle with infertility.  I could not have made it through that time without the countless friends that were willing to pour out God's love on me.  The sweetest way love was shown to me through that time was in tears.  That sounds funny to say, but it is true.  The friends that were close enough to experience my pain and share in my tears were the friends that truly showed me the compassion and the love of Christ.  It helped me realize that I was not alone in the heartache!  I recently read an article by Molly Piper (yes, she is related to the Christian author John Piper).  In this blog article, she articulated the gift of true compassion so well.  Here is the link for one of the best blog posts, articles or messages that I have ever read with how to support a friend in the midst of pain and struggle.

I do hope this can encourage you to reach out, love on and join a friend even in the hard times in life.

longing for friends... at 4

The last couple of days have been a little hard on my little man's ego. Not that we don't all need a dose of reality, I am not looking to protect H from the ways the world is often harsh and hard. I just feel like he could use some building up right now. I think that H is really feeling the void of friends in his life. It has been 2 months since we moved and new friendships are yet to be formed.

Just 2 months ago when we were still in the good ol' Rocky Mountains, his life was FULL of friends. Friends he loved and that loved him. Here we are still working on connecting with other families with kids his age. It is a process... I know, I still feel the void in friendships... I guess, I am just now trying to figure out how to help my 4 year old navigate this void as well.

The teachable moments are many. "Hey Love, how did you feel when....? Let's be sure to not make others feel that way..." Wisdom would be welcomed! Please pray for his little heart to not be jaded by the rejection, but instead that God would be using this to shape his heart to be loving and kind to others.