... not much to say...

I haven't had much to say here lately...
I have been waiting for something profound, something to encourage others, something funny, or something domestic.
Truth is life has continued to be a little challenging around here.  Mr. Steady's back has really flared up again, poor guy can't stand up straight {another MRI tomorrow to see what is going on}.  I'm feeling drained at the end of most days.  Parenting has been challenging lately {always is really, I keep trying to remind myself  that this isn't supposed to be easy to train up these little peeps}.  My house is messier than normal {quickly realizing how much my man usually helps keep things picked up}.  There is chaos in my head with possible changes {nothing major, so no one freak out on me}.  My selfish heart daily beckons me to be lazy to have a pitty-party, to live life my own way {conviction is good, turning from sin is hard, but so worth it}.  After having exercised 5 days a week for 5 months, this last month, I have only worked out like once a week... I had really hoped my new routine would stick.. not so much.  I haven't been as intentional with my kids as I would like/ hope for {and you can see it in how they are living/ loving/ and obeying, or the lack there of}.

But I am thankful {do you believe me after that paragraph above}

I'm thankful for: 
- My baby turned 2- thankful for this spirited, loud, crazy, silly  little man!
- My big boy graduated kindergarten!  He had an awesome year!
- My Bug is growing in joy, developing her own interests, and loving on her bros!
- God has continued to provide for us, and I have a hard working man!  Mr. Steady was the #1 sales rep in his office for multiple months... even during all of his medical issues!!!
- I have found a renewed joy of reading God's Word!!!!!
- We have 2 family weddings this Fall so a long trip to Utah is on the schedule! Woo Hoo!
- With our current situation, God is teaching me a lot (to slow down, that I can't make plans, to do a better job around the house, to be thankful, to be patient, to give myself and others more grace, to ask for help when needed...)
- Mr. Steady and I are reading a book/ study together that is AWESOME!  It is called "Changed into His Image" by Jim Berg.  It is really challenging and encouraging me!  If you are ready for your walk with Christ to go to a new level, I think you should read this!
- Medical insurance... and that we have met our out of pocket max for the year!  So thankful that medical bills are not hanging over our head, and that each procedure that Mr. Steady needs is not going to cost us anything more!
- Support of friends, family, and friends that should be called family : )
- Our summer fun list... to remind me to keep making fun memories with my kiddos.
- For the exciting changes in the lives of friends and family... new babies, new houses, new jobs, soon to be new spouses! 
- that as a family we were able to go to the beach tonight for a bonfire to celebrate B's birthday, and fathers day!

- that I actually am posting on here, hoping this gets the ball rolling again : )
- and I'm thankful for you... anyone that stuck with me and read this whole rambling post!

Patience

I need a little more patience in my life!  Especially when we are heading out the door, or it is bedtime!  It seems like I tend to be in a rush for both of these occasions... both of which happen daily... definitely an area I can't be complacent to not change!

I keep thinking about the fact that "LOVE is PATIENT!"  I want to love my husband, my kids, my friends, neighbors and strangers.  Yet, am I showing them patience??

Am I taking the time to really listen to what my child is trying to tell me?
Am I interrupting their story?
Am I listening fully (not letting my mind race a head to a to-do list)?
When milk is spilled or any other little acident happens, am I patient in instructing my little one to clean it up, or am I quickly get frustrated, loosing my cool and raising my voice?
When it is time to get in the car, am I planning for the time it takes to really load 3 little ones (and all their gear) up?  Or am I trying to hurry and rush everyone out the door, scrambling at the last minute?
Am I enjoying the process (especially bed-time), or am I just looking forward to it being done?
Am I making life feel like a crisis because of my impatient responses?
Is the clock or my child's heart more of the guide of my day?

I am by nature not a patient person!  Not at all!   I don't want to tell you my ugly answers to the questions above... so I won't.... but I can tell you that I so desire growth in this area!  And I am going to start praying daily for a patient heart!  A thankful heart that can be patient!

If you need some encouragement on patience, you should read this amazing post from Ann Voskamp.

Pace of life

Today, we stayed home ALL day, and I had the realization that our pace of a day directly correlates with my patience and perspective.  You see, I have been short on patience lately and my perspective on life has been a bit grim... but we have also had a hurried pace of life... with all of the details surrounding our move.

This week I have been intentional to SLOW down, and man I feel like a new woman!  I spent so much of the day smiling and laughing with the kids.  Even when they needed correction and consequences I was calm, had wise words to say (PTL), and was able to better draw out their heart.  I so wish everyday could be like this.

I know school starting is right around the corner (part-time homeschooling), soccer will be starting for H, Mr. Steady's job is going to be crazy busy in the Fall, we will have new commitments with church, and I have a pretty big event that I am planning.  If I think about that hurried pace it makes me want to stop the clock.  I so very much like/ need/ thrive in this slower pace of life!  I pray that in the next few weeks of calm, that my heart can be prepared for busy.  That rather than dreading it, I pray that we can move forward with great anticipation of what each day will hold.... that busy won't necessarily coorelate with me being stressed and short-fused.

I know it will take some time once Fall is underway, to find our new grove and pace, just like every season change in life takes adjustment. 

a few new conclusions... (for me... lots of you have already had to figure this out)
I have a school-aged child... that means 3 mornings a week we have a set time we have to be out of the house... uggh!
To not regret every school morning, I have to be totally prepared... hmmm, need to figure this one out
That I might will have to say "no" to a lot of things that sound fun to me, but need to know that I can't do everything with everyone.


Can anyone relate??  I know some of you out there think that I am crazy! You like life at a fast pace and you think your kids do well with lots going on... but for me and my kids SLOW is what we do best : )

Worst Costco Trip... so far

Today we headed to Costco for a grocery run around lunch time.  We started by grabbing a bite to eat - we all love Costco cheese pizza!  I couldn't cut the food fast enough for B.  He would let out a scream, yell, whatever you want to call it, between each and every bite.  (So wish he would learn to sign or talk, cause he has an opinion he is trying to share)

Then off to the potty... always an adventure with 3 little ones... holding B while trying to help Bug up on the potty... and can you imagine how hard it is to pull up your own pants while holding a 1 year old... I am sure many of you can actually totally picture it, because you have done it before : )

On to the shopping... enjoying samples along the way
And what Costco trip is complete without random comments from strangers...
grandpa #1 "You have your hands full!"
me: "Yes and I love it!"
grandpa #1: "I had 4 kids, I know what you mean!"
Made me smile

Then a lady stopped me for a few minutes to ask if 3 kids is really doable.  "Umm, yes! Of course! It is busy, especially once the baby is mobile.  But totally doable!"  I don't know if she was convinced or not...

Then the chaos really began.  H was my helper, grabbing some of the groceries for me.  He picked up the salad dressing that I asked him to get.  Instead of putting it right into the cart, he decided to shake it... just like daddy does.  I should have asked him to put it in the cart, but I figured he had it.  Two isles later, he dropped it, the plastic lid split and the floor of Costco was covered in Italian dressing!  Uggh!  We had to find a worker to clean it up, apologize, ask if we can pay for it, wait for them to clean it up... not fun, but it happens.

Then we get to the checkout... B was OVER being in the cart and was starting to take it out on Bug, who was sitting next to him.  So I put on my Beco, and put him in.  Then started unloading groceries.  I must have looked pathetic.  Because grandpa #2 set down his Nicorette Gum, and silently starts unloading my cart.  "Thank you I said." He nodded.  Again once the cart was unloaded, I told him how much I appreciated his help, he didn't say a word, just nodded!  I thought that strange, but I was thankful none the less.

Walking out the kids ask the receipt-checker at the door for a smiley face.  To which she obliged them.  She handed the receipt to H, who was walking.  Two feet out of the door, H is walking with his hand on the side of the cart and admiring his receipt smiling at him, when he stepped toward the side... BUMP.... I heard the cart wheel over his foot.  AHHHH!  H is screaming (and for good reason - a huge, fully loaded cart just ran over his toes)!  I bent down (B still strapped on me) and tried comforting him... still crying... I looked up at the cart and there was not an inch of room to put B back in or to put H in.  I contemplated putting him up on my shoulder to make it to the car.  Just as I was analyzing my possibilities a lady ran over and said, "Can I please help you?"  "Yes, please!"  So this sweet lady, pushed the cart with Bug in it, while I carried B on the front and my huge 5 year old on my hip to the car.  Then she proceeded to unload all of my groceries while I strapped in the kid.  She was a God-send for sure!

We survived!  H's toes are just fine, he hasn't even complain about them since we have been home.  I am learning to accept help when I need it and realizing that I probably really do look like I have my hands full!

We moved...

Well, I have been absent on here for over 2 weeks!  I think that might be the longest blogging break yet : )  But I have a good excuse, we moved into our new house!  Wooo Hooo!  It has been a joyful and great experience for us, but not void of stress.  I have been hardly keeping up on normal life, let alone unpacking, so blogging was on a temporary hold. 

This last week has been such a whirlwind!  I have barely been keeping my head above water... especially as a mom!  There have been days this week were I failed in the realm of parenting.  Everything is feeling somewhat overwhelming, no one's needs are being met perfectly, everyone is having some major/ minor behavioral issues.  My patience is being constanly tried and my heart is full of selfish ambitions (like un-packing)... Uggh, it has been hard!

This time of transition has been hard on all of us, especially my littlest peeps.  My kids worlds have been turned upside-down.  They are in a new home, new bedrooms, with new beds and lots of changes.  Bug especially seems to be feeling really insecure with this change.
There is not a single room in our house that is safe yet for B-man, which makes my day harder, my arms stronger and my baby frustrated that he is always being picked up and pulled away from whatever "fun" he is ready to devour.
 
I am trying to find the balance of being consistent with rules and expectations and being sensitive to their hearts in this transition into our new life (giving more grace).  The other balance I have not yet mastered is having fun times planned with the kids and then time for mommy to unpack (not so fun for the kids).  We will get there, someday all these boxes we be unpacked : )  Good thing Grammy is coming to town next week!!!

***************

We are LOVING our house and feel so very blessed to be here!  We love the layout, our super driveway for H to play basketball on or Bug to ride her bike.  Our neighbors are very sweet and friendly.  We have loved living close to the park and pool!  God truly blessed us with this house.  Praying that our home can be a place of love, encouragement, comfort and prayer, not just for us, but for everyone that comes in our door.

Morning Nap

We are in Colorado visiting my family and celebrating my Dad's birthday!!

And it seems to be that each time we travel someone in our family gets sick : (
Little B-man is sick, horrible cough, fever, he is just sad!
I was up with him at 4:30am
Then up with all the kids at 6:30am
I was wiped out
Sweet B couldn't fall asleep for his morning nap
Little man fussed for 45 minutes
I knew he was so tired... and so was I...
So I scooped him up
We crawled into the huge king bed
And laid down
He wrestled around for a little while trying to get cozy, 
He thought the most comfortable position was to crawl across me
And that is how we fell asleep, his sweet knees on the bed, and chubby cheeks on my chest

This mama soaked it in
At home I would have never had the chance for this morning snooze with my baby
I would have had "too much to do"
I would have had 2 big kids needing my attention
But today, I fully embraced one beauty of vacation, and snuggled my littlest Love so his tired body could get some much needed rest!

Thank you Mr. Steady for taking the big kids on a hike!
Thank you Lord, for the precious time with my baby!  Help me to stop more often at home and take full advantage of sweet times like this!

Mom of the year... not me!

Here is my humble and embarrassing moment from last weekend...  bear with me, you need a little background before I can divulge the details of my escapade.

My dear friend Kathy invited our family to join her family for an Easter Egg hunt that her community was putting on.  We met them early for lunch, then walked over to the park where the festivities were being held.  The kids started out with a pony ride, egg hunt for the littlest peeps, then off to bounce houses, and more.  H, decided that he wanted to do the sack race, so our little family went over to cheer H on!

As soon as the sack races were over we went to find Kathy and her family.  The middle of the park was getting really quite crowded, so we decided to walk around the back side of some of the bounce houses up on a little hill (mistake #1).  Then we spotted Kathy frantically pushing her stroller around with just her son, eyes pacing the crowd, looking for her 3 year old.  In an attempt to help I offered to watch her son, and that Mr. Steady would help look for her little girl.

Mr. Steady parked our jogging stroller (not the double), placing the hand break and making sure it wouldn't roll anywhere (mistake #2).  Kathy handed me her stroller; I was going to watch her baby and my 3 while everyone was on the search for her little girl.  We were doing great the first few minutes of me and the 4 little ones.  H and Bug were staying right by me, B was content in his stroller, and Kathy's baby was happy as long as I was pushing him back and forth... really up and down on this little hill (mistake #3).

Bug turned to me and said, "Mama, I'm thirsty!"  So I pointed to the top of our stroller to where her water was (mistake #4).  Bug walked over and reached up as high as she could to try to get her water out of the cup holder on the stroller, and in the process pushed on the stroller.

"Bug, NOOOOOOOOOOO."  Before I could do a darn thing, B-man's stroller tipped over down the little hill.  It was like it happened in slow motion and I couldn't get there fast enough.  All the contents of the stroller spilled all over the hill.  B was startled, but not hurt at all.  I quickly un-strapped B, and a sweet stranger helped me get the stroller up-right and picked up all of my spilled items. 

By the time I snuggled my little man and made sure he was ok, Kathy was back.  And she said to me, "Did you realize that you let my stroller go and it rolled down the hill with my baby in it???  A stranger had to stop it."  (mistake #5) AHHHH, what in the world!  In all of  the CHAOS around my kids I had let Kathy's baby cruise down the hill and DID NOT even realize it at all!  Mortified, I was way embarassed by this point in time.  Kathy laughed at me, and was so sweet in forgiving me for being so careless. 

Again, I had to take a few deep breaths, the anxiety in my chest was seriously making it hard to breath!  I was so thankful that both baby boys were okay!  B was now calm and happy, I decided not to put him back into the stroller (thought that might be a little tramatic), so I pulled out my Becco (baby carrier) and started strapping it on me to put him in.  I couldn't do up the last strap while holding him, so I set him down on the grass at my feet (mistake #6).  As soon as he was sitting, his little top-heavy self flipped forward and started rolling down the hill.  By this time, I am feeling completely incompetent to do the simplest of mothering duties,  and completely embarrased, swetting from the stress!  It is almost comical how out of control the last 5 minutes have been.  I scoop up my little man, put him in the carrier, apologizing to him over again that he could have been hurt and that he was scared!

I was ready for this craziness to be over... and I thought it was over... Well until, H walked up to the jogging stroller, hardly leaned against it and it tipped over again! (thankfully, without baby this time).  At that moment I decided that it was time to get the heck out of dodge.  What else could possibly go wrong on the tiny little hill???  I am sure we provided some great comic relief for some on-lookers, some may have even deemed me worst mom of the year!

I guess it just proved the point of the stranger from Costco last week... I better not have another.  4 kids might tip me over the edge... at least it did momentarily on that grassy hillside at the park!

strangers comments

So today, I had a first, that I had to tell ya'll about...

I was at Costco with my 3 little peeps, it was 1:45 by the time we were checking out... (15 minutes into what should be naptime).  Everyone was happy and doing great.  H was sitting in the back part of the cart, Bug was in the front, I had just pulled B-man out from sitting next to Bug.  He was in my arms, facing forward and holding on to the cart (like he was trying to help me push).  {do you have a visual}

Anyway, an older gentleman said to me "Please don't have another!" chuckle, chuckle!  Then he added in something about me needing another arm.

Seriously, he made it sound like we were the walking freak-show or something. Yes, it was hard to steer the cart, yes, I probably looked a little funny, trying to push with one arm and holding B with the other.  But really, everyone was happy and behaving so that has to count for A LOT!  Maybe I look more frazzled in public than I think.  Who knows!

I walked away thinking, "did he really say that out loud?"  Where is his wife, he needs his filter checked...

Maybe I need to get this book!  One arm for each of my kiddos!

My friend Dena always says, that a mom should grow a new arm for each child she has.  Guess this little old man subscribes to the same school of thought : )

Life with 3

There are some days at home with my 3 little people where life is smooth sailing, where all is well, and easy.  I want to pinch myself, in dis-belief that this is my life!  Then there are days where life with my 3 little people feels completely overwhelming and busy.  We are at that point right now.  Life is busy, I "have my hands full" as people often like to tell me!

The initial adjustment to 3 was breezy for me, no sweat... yet right now I wouldn't say my days are breezy.  I know it is just the season we are in, I am not trying to wish away a single day... even the hard ones.  I can even attribute some of the chaos to some specific things going on in our house... B is on the move and on the look out for trouble.  Bug is potty-training on top of testing out the boundaries as all 2 year-olds like to do, and H is curious about the world around him, asking tons of questions, needing heart training, guidance, instruction and encouragement. 

I am realizing lately that being the mom I desire to be, the mom that I feel God is calling me to be is a lot of work.  I am thankful that I am not in this alone!  I am so thankful that daily God uses his Word to encourage and refine me and to help refine the hearts of my kiddos.  I am thankful for moms that have gone before me (have older kids) that I can turn to for advice.  I am thankful for friends in the exact life stage that I am at that challenge me.  I am SOOO very thankful for Mr. Steady for the father he is and the example he is to me. 

Through all of this, I am also realizing a couple of other things....

• I have to be intentional with my day... that my time with my kids is cherished and not just spent rushing around to the next thing.
• I can't expect that all other areas in my life will remain the same. I have 3 little people vying for my attention, 3 little hearts waiting for instruction. 
• "Me-time" comes in small little doses, doing tasks that might seem mundane and/or tedious have become "me-time", like mopping the floor.  Yet if I choose to have a happy heart (like I always ask my kids to do) and turn on non-kid music or a podcast, I can actually really enjoy this new version of "me-time."  Sometimes it may come in the form of grocery shopping all by myself.  Whatever it may be, I can choose to have joy in these moments...
• That my house will NEVER be all clean at the exact time... as hard as I try, it just doesn't happen.
• That I am needing to embrace that most things I do, get un-done, so that I can do it again, and it can be un-done again... (this topic deserves a whole post)
• Parenting is WAY harder than anyone ever told me it would be.  It is full of joys and blessings, and I really wouldn't trade a single day of it, but I have to be honest, it is hard work! 
• I have to get to bed at a reasonable time... or I am just not starting us out to have a "winning" kind of day!

Yikes, this tired mama needs to get to bed... I am already late on that "reasonable time" : )

today...

is not off to a great start...
I got up 25 minutes later than usual
wasn't done with my BibleStudy when kids got up
I wasn't ready to be needed by my little peeps
I'm still in my PJs at 8:30
Bug is up in her room crying as she is trying to "find her happy heart"
H is running around with crazy boy energy
And I think B's tummy might be hurting him
I have a to do list that could have been accomplished on a good day
.... but not looking quite as possible at the moment

Wishing I would have pulled my tired bum out of bed earlier... our day might be looking different if I had!  Praying that we can get back on track and all find our happy hearts!

start of day

Baby Bro is sleeping through the night!!!  Yay  : )  Loving a full night sleep.  I have been waking up around 6:00am, wide awake and fully rested.  Did you hear that I said RESTED.  Ahh, it is glorious!

When I was pregos with Baby Bro, I was in the habit of getting up between 6 and 6:30 to do my quiet time.  It was so good to start my day in a quiet house, with a clear head ready to read my Bible and pray.  When B was first born and I was sleep deprived, overwhelmed and if I am honest, feeling a bit LAZY.  Even once he started sleeping through the night I was still not getting up on time.

It is so easy to talk myself into "just 5 more minutes" of sleep, then it ends up being 5 minutes and 5 more until 7am and H comes in to tell me it is time to get up. When I wait until 7am to get up, I have to jump out of bed and start sprinting for my marathon of a day.  If I get my quiet hour in the morning my marathon starts with a steady jog, which is a pace I can maintain for the day.  I need this time for me... so why do I so often let my lazy body get the best of me??   In order to get up by 6am, I have to be more disciplined to get into bed by 10:30.  Why is that so hard?

I have needed to get back into this discipline of starting my day an hour before the kids are up focused on what really matters. Oh, how much better the day seems to go when Mama has started the day with God.  I have been so blessed this year to be a part of Biblestudy that is really challenging me.  It is causing me to examine what different passages really say, verses that I have read (or skimmed) for years.  I am finally digging in, really trying to understand more.  Oh, how I long for growth in my walk, in my understanding of unconditional grace, growth in compassion and love for others.  Growth, grace, love and compassion not only in my walk, but as a mom.  I can't fully pour these virtues out until I let God pour into me, and how can that happen if I am not intentionally in the Word in prayer!

So where are you at? How do you find/ make the time to spend with God?  Are you intentionally spending time learning about your Creator?  Do you understand unconditional grace?  I challenge you that if you are struggling finding the time... get up early to MAKE the time!  It is a discipline you won't regret!

What we eat

I know there are so many schools of thought about what we eat, how it effects us... but in the last few months I have a heightened awareness of how what we eat effects not only us, but our nursing baby.  With my first 2 babies I was pretty diligent about avoiding the "common" causes of gas for newborns, chocolate, broccoli, beans, onions and peppers were the top offenders on my list.  However, with sweet little B, there was a new one that was even harder for me... DAIRY!

You see I LOVE dairy.  Yogurt every morning for breakfast, lunch always involved cheese (grilled cheese, quesadilla, mac and cheese, cheese stick...) then dinner was complimented with a tall glass of milk and then my day ended often with more yogurt.  I know any of you that are lactose intolerant are feeling sick to your stomach even thinking about that much dairy.  But it is true that is how I used to eat.

When little man was 2 weeks old he kept spitting up a ton, I was starting to get concerned that he wasn't keeping anything down.  After a few weeks of trying to figure out if anything I was eating was the culprit I decided to try to give up (or at least severely limit) my dairy.  I was skeptical at first, but within 2 days he stopped spitting up.  I stayed off of it for a week then tried a little, which caused him to spit up again.  Now that he is 7 months I allow myself to have a little bit of dairy, usually in the form of cheese (cause who whats a Double Double without any cheese!!)  But even now when his digestive tract should be "more mature" he still struggles if I have more than just a little cheese.

I know that spit-up seems manageable to deal with, how about a really fussy, inconsolable baby.  Would you give up dairy then?  My friend Rachel had a sweet baby boy a week after B was born.  He cried a lot, didn't sleep well and was just really hard.  So with the recommendation from her neighbor, Rachel did Dr. Sears Elimination Diet.  She said that it was so incredibly difficult, she was down to 8 things that she could eat, yet it was worth it because her baby stopped crying all of the time.  It took her 3 days on the diet to notice a difference.  She stayed on the limited diet for a couple of weeks before she slowly added back in most food groups.  Even now that her baby is 6 months old she is limiting her dairy.

Since hearing Rachel's story, and my own experience with B,  I have been able to encourage other moms with fussy babies to give up dairy and so far it has worked for 2 of the 2 moms that I was able to pass the info on to.  If your baby is fussy or if they are labeled as having Colic, give it a try.  Adjust your diet and see if what you are eating is effecting your sweet little one.   Yes it is hard, but no harder than hearing a little one that you love so so much, screaming because their little tummy hurts.

When B was just a few weeks old and I was talking to another mom she reminded me that this is just another example of putting someone elses needs above our own.  Uggh, not what I wanted to hear, but oh so true!

"In humility, consider others above yourself." Philippians 2:3

A new start

Happy New Year!!  I really enjoy the start of a new year, whether that be a new "school year" or a new calendar year.  I love the opportunity to evaluate and really look at my life and to see the areas where changes need to happen.  Oh, there are so many areas where I want to grow, where I want my priorities to be right not only in my head, but lived out every day!  I know this desire to make a new start is not something I experience alone.  I am sure many of you already have, or fully intend to, write down goals, priorities and resolutions for they year ahead.  I guess for me I don't want to look at this as a resolution, but more of a reminder of where my priorities need to be.  Below is a list of one woman's declaration of who she wants to be. I hope that it encourages you and maybe even gives you ideas for new areas of growth, disciple and change in your life. 

Two years ago I came across this post on the blog of another Utah mama, (Wish I could say we are friends... we have lots of friends in common if that counts, but we have never met).  Anyway... here is her list, which I have adopted and refer to OFTEN!

"In 2009 and beyond I want to be reminded to stay focused on my priorities.

I want to be the wife:  
who remembers that marriage comes before mothering.
who is a refuge at the end of my husband's tough day.  
who knows what household items are important to my husband and gets them done.
who supports my husband's down time and expresses my appreciation for his hard work and provision for our family.

I want to be the mom:
that remembers that my son's heart is more important than my inconvenience.
that chooses playing and reading over mopping and vacuuming.
that encourages fort making.
that remembers the days are long but the years are short.
that recognizes the difference between childishness and foolishness.
that leaves a legacy that points to Jesus Christ as Lord, creator and sustainer.
that teaches her sons independence and when it is time, lets go.
that has sons who know beyond all else that their mom loves them.

I want to be the friend:  

that is genuine - what you see is what you get.
who helps another friend without being asked.
who keeps a secret without doubt.
who can be trusted not to gossip.
that is loyal through tough times.
who accepts differences without judgment.
who invites a visitor in without excuses for the state of my home.

I want to be the child of God:
that loves others even when the emotions aren't there.
that serves out of pure gratitude for the price Christ paid for me.
that savors His word each day.
who is not ashamed of my faith and the journey that led me to Him.

I want to remember that life is messy.  The journey doesn't always look pretty, but we get only one journey."

told yourself

Some of you may have seen this on Facebook... yet with so many friends (and my sweet sister-in-law) becoming a new mom in the last few months I wanted to post it here encase you haven't seen it yet : )



I think my sign would say "Soak it in, you now live life in fast forward."

playing

We had a full and busy weekend.  For most of the weekend we had 6 adults and 8 kiddos (all under the age of 5) at our casa.  It was fun, chaotic, a tad crazy, a little loud and totally wonderful : )  Two of my college roommates and their families spent the weekend with us.  Kat and her hubby only live 20 minute away, so they would come for the days and hang out late into the evening.  Court and her hubby came down from Central California.  Oh what a treat it was to have these life-long friends here.

I loved getting to watch both of them mother, getting to watch their kiddos and just observing each family in action.  We all parent in slightly different ways.  And can I tell you that I was so encouraged and challenged by these differences.

You see, I am a little bit of a type A personality.  There is always a to-do list in my head and things that I see all around me that need to be done.  I am so guilty of putting tasks at the top of my priorities.  More than once this weekend, H asked me it I would play with him, to which time I said "no," because I had a ton to do.  Then H asked Kat, Court or one of the dads and he heard, "Yes, of course, what do you want to do Buddy?"  I watched the pure delight on his face at the realization that someone said yes!

Uggh, why am I so quick to say no?!?!   I want to be better at playing.  I want to be a fun mom.  I want to prioritize my kids over my tasks.  Where to start??  I am sure this sounds beyond ridiculous to some of you... but it is the truth, sitting down and playing (JUST PLAYING) is hard for me to do.  So I am setting a goal of playing with each one of my kids for at least 15 minutes each day... focused time, no answering my phone or sending a text, not getting up to change the laundry or start dinner... just focused mommy-time playing.

Oh wait, that is me...

Have you ever stepped across shoes that need to be put away and thought "won't someone clean this up?"  Or left your car with sippy-cups on the floor of the back seat and thought, "someone needs to bring those in the house!"

Yesterday I opened the refrigerator door and the handle was sticky.  I immediately thought, "I sure wish someone would wipe this up." Then it hit me, "Oh wait, that someone is me."  Oh dang, when did I become the most responsible party present?  I guess that is part of being a grown-up!

It is me... I am daily embracing that rarely do I make the mess, however I am the one that get's to clean it up or assign and supervise the cleanup.  Probably an epiphany many of you had years ago... I am a slow learner I guess : )

I think this point has become even more relevant to me since Mr. Steady is going on week 4 of being laid-up with his herniated disc in his back.  He is helping out where he can, but still so much of taking care of the kids, house, cars, yard and such is up to me.   How do you single moms do it?  Seriously?!?!

So here is to embracing {with JOY} the fact that there is lots to get picked up, cleaned up, put away, taken out, wiped down, and loved on.  Whew, being a mom is hard work!  Bring it!

keeping it real

So recently someone told me that I looked like I had it all together.  Ha!  Seriously made me laugh out loud.  Oh, if you only knew....

In order to keep it real, I thought I would show you what I found when I took the carseats out of my car to rearrange.

I think that there had to be at least 5 pounds of goldfish and other snacks smashed under the seats and on the floor.  Not so together... ya think?!?

I'm going to miss this

My kids are growing up before my eyes.  It is hard to believe that 5 years ago I was getting to the uncomfortable stage of my pregnancy with H.  Or that Bug is already talking and in her best attempts nurturing her baby brother.  Or even that sweet Baby Bro is filling out, more alert and getting stronger...  all way too quickly.

So often my days run together with the busyness of taking care of the kids, the house, Mr. Steady and staying in touch with dear friends.  I am all too guilty of looking forward to the next time everyone will be sleeping (be it naps or bedtime) so that I can get stuff done.  Ugh, I want my heart to soak in each day and to enjoy it, not wish it away.

If you are a mama of little ones and have 5 minutes  to spare, please read this post by MckMama.  I was so encouraged by her words and challenged to strive each day to make the most of my time with my kids while they are still little!  It really does go by WAY to quickly.

So here is to embracing the noise, chaos, mess, lack of sleep and occasional fighting... because I will also get the laughter, games, smiles, memories, snuggles, stories, teachable moments, songs, nurturing, dancing and so much more.  Like I said about pregnancy... I am sure going to miss this!

When do we really grow up?

I have been pondering that question a lot lately... when do we really grow up??

I feel like so much "growing up" actually happens as adults.  I think that it took turning 30 and having my 3 kids always with me to finally no longer picture myself as a 21 year old.  Seriously, I constantly thought of myself as if I was just finishing up college.  I desired to spend my time as if I still just had myself to worry about... wondering when I could escape to the coffee shop to chat with a friend or go on a date with Mr. Steady.  Not only have I grown up a little in my self perception, but hopefully in all other ways as well : )

As my friend Nic wrote about here that the house they owned when she had her first 3 kids is where she "grew up."  Isn't that so true, how much growing up happens for us as adults when we have kids.  Not saying to my faithful readers that are not yet parents that you are not a grown up... there is just so much that changes when these little people steal a piece of your heart and every second of your day.

Recently I was talking with one of my dear friends and she shared with me how much she was missing her dad.  He passed away 3 years ago.  She said that she just missed his influence over her life at this critical stage of growing up.  It is, for many of us mid 20's to mid 30's that we establish our families;  that we lay the ground work and start to raise our kids.  During this time we figure out who we really are. 

I have had many friends say that they loved being 30.  Because, for the first time in life they truly accepted who they are, who God created them to be, not hindered by what others think.  Ahh, that sounds so refreshing.  I would love to proclaim that I have arrived.  I mean I have been 30 now for a little more than 6 months : )  I am not there yet, but I do see huge growth in that direction.  For me I wouldn't say that it was just because I turned 30, but more from other influences at this time in my life.  Having 3 young kids that depend on me every day is stretching, but knowing that they are learning from my example is completely humbling!  But a bigger influence than that, has been God working in my heart, teaching me, stretching me and showing me that really I am NOTHING without Him.  Whew, how is that for some growing up?!?  Growing out of our self-reliance and self-focus and growing into humble reliance on our Creator and focusing on showing others love and grace.

Here is to growing up and becoming who we were created to be.  May we all be "growing up" more every day.

Alone Play Time

This by no means is an original thought of mine, just an idea that was shared in a book and that I was able to see other mom's carry out that I have to share...

In the mommy group that I went to this last Spring, once a month the speaker would ask some of the mom's "What in this stage of motherhood could they not live without."  Some said their mom or best friend, a good book... the most popular answer by far was iPhone.  I have been thinking about this question a lot in light of being a mommy of 3.  My new answer of what I could not live without at this stage is... Alone Play Time (APT).  Not for me, for my kids : )  Almost everyday my kids do alone play time.

Who is  it for?  All of my kids
What is it?  Just what it sounds like time for each kiddo to play all by them-self.
Where?  H in his room, Bug in her crib and Baby Bro in his crib.
When?  We do alone play time every day, usually mid morning.
Why?  For oh, so many reasons...  but my top 3 are:
1.  I need that time (now more than ever).  It is when I get ready, make lunches if we are headed out, pack up the car, make calls, do my quiet time, get setup for craft projects... whatever it is pressing for that day that is easier done alone.
2.  It is good for kids to learn to play all by themselves.  Too many kids in our society are constantly looking to others to entertain them. 
3.  I think that it helps improve their ability to concentrate.  I know at my house, if the kids are in the play room there are tons of toys to choose from, that they often move from one activity to the next without really focusing on one toy.  For APT, they only get 2-3 toys and 2-3 books.  This gives them time to focus on these toys and books without getting distracted.

How does it work?  It is different for kids of different ages.  But I would say start em' young.

With H we started APT when he was only a few months old.  It started out as time with his mobile in his crib.  Then when he could hold onto toys, I would give him a few toys to reach for, hold or bat at.  For H as an infant he would do APT for up to 20 minutes.  As they get a little older you can add a few minutes to that.  I am starting this with Baby Bro now; just this morning he had 10 minutes of mobile time.

For Bug, I made the HUGE mistake of not starting APT until she was 14 months old.  She hated it at first and would throw a huge fit protest for the first 10 minutes each time.  Now she loves it (most days) and is up to 30-45 minutes.  I always play a kids CD, give her a few toys and books.  The toys I give her are ones that are only for APT, and most of them are manipulative toys of some kind (box where shapes go in the holes, stacking cups, large legos...)  The true alluring factor for Bug about APT is that she gets to go back in her crib where her beloved binky and blanket are (the girl is truly addicted to her binky).

With H now, he gets full reign of his room.  I have special toys in his room that are just for APT or he can pick out something else if he would like.  H also gets a CD (of his choice) in his room to listen to as he plays.  He often ends up playing with something different that he started with, but that is really fine with me.

APT has been crucial for me in this transition.  I am hoping that when I am not sleep-deprived that I can get up before the kids to get ready and get a start on my day.  Once that is happening I want to stagger their APT so I make sure I am getting 1 on 1 time with each kiddo!

If you only have a baby, start now, you won't regret it!  If your little one is a toddler just know that it might come with some resistance, but give it a try.  Save their favorite toys for APT, start out with just 5 or 10 minutes, you can talk it up too, build it up in their mind about how this is a special time.  If you have a preschooler be sure to let them help pick the music and activity.  One other tip that I think helps is that I try to be on the floor playing with my kids in the time leading up to APT.  I want them to have time with me.  I think it helps them to know they are not going to APT because mommy doesn't want them around. 

So, that is one little tip that has worked wonders for me that I am so thankful someone passed my way... hopefully, it will encourage one of you out there : )