Thankful- Day 3

oops, missed a day : )
Today we had a special treat of Daddy taking a vacation day to hang out with us.  We went to Sea World and had a blast.

Bug- "Doggies, Yeah!" (they have a pets show at Sea World, it was a hit with our kids)

 bug wondering where the doggies went, "Where he go?"

H- "I am thankful for the beauty of God's creation, that we got to see the ocean and orcas and stuff." (seriously, word for word)

Mr. Steady: "Thankful that we got to spend such a fun day together as a family."

Me: That my man has the rest of the week off!  What a fun way to start our stay-cation to spend the day as a family... and that everyone did great today!

Running into some friends was pretty cool too!

Thankful- Day 2

What are you thankful for today? (asked last night)

Bug: "Daddy!", then she gave him a snuggle
H: "My attach shuttle, and getting to spend time with Nan and Pop."

 H's attach Shuttle

Mr. Steady: "Being able to go to church this morning as a family, even if we were 20 minutes late."
Me: For a weekend at home to get stuff done... well really for a weekend with Mr. Steady to help me get stuff done!  We organized, de-cluttered, re-arranged furniture, went through paperwork... feeling very accomplished!

Thankful-1

I want to be intentional at reflecting on all that God has blessed us with.  It is easy to go through a day without seeing all that we have to be thankful for.  So here is my attempt to be more intentional at noticing and relishing in all God's blessings.  We have so very much to be thankful for! So for a week (thanksgiving being in the middle) we are going to let you know what we are thankful for.

I asked my little family, "What are you thankful for today?'
H: "Legos, and getting to build with them."
Mr. Steady: "Our health and healthy kids."
Bug: "Bro!" Then she looked at H and smiled (oh, melted my heart)
Me: "Warmth! Warm clothes, Uggs, warm house, warm hugs.  I am thankful to be warm!
And if Baby Bro could talk... I am guessing his answer today would be, "My mobile!"

Baby Bro is 5 months!

Oh little man, you are one cute little dude... I know, I am biased, but seriously, such a cutie!  B, you are one the move, rolling, grabbing, spinning... you sure can be a busy guy.  You are starting to show more determination and exert a little more of an opinion.  If you want something you launch your body towards your desired object... warning to anyone that holds you, to hold you tight or you might dive-bomb out of their arms.

 Sweet dude, you love pulling and grabbing, and I can personally attest to you strength!  You have ever so lovingly pulled out at least 392 handfuls of my hair. Ouch!

You love to put things in your mouth... all things in your mouth!

 and who needs a binky when you are this flexible!

Lovin' that big toe! Yummy!

Jane

** Updated with link to pictures**

It is hard to even know what to say, or write, I am broken, totally shattered, and feeling helpless as a friend.  Today our sweet friends were at the funeral of their baby girl.  Sweet Jane was almost 4 months old, she was born with a heart defect, that despite multiple surgeries was unable to be repaired.  The last 4 months had much sadness, but glimmers of hope along the way.  We will never know why (this side of heaven) God's plan did not include Jane's heart being healed.  I am praying that as each day goes forward that they can trust in God's sovereign plan, and that His peace brings comfort.  Our friends know God's word, his promises, that their daughter is walking with the King fully healed and pain free.  They know that hope is not found in life here on the earth, but life spent with God.  Knowing God and his divine nature, gives ultimate hope, but it does not wipe away the pain.  It is hard to wrestle with how to fully trust God and his goodness, but to allow your heart to grieve, to ache, to cry-out in anguish.

My heart is breaking for our friends as they grieve their sweet girl.  I haven't walked this road before, I don't have any answers, more than anything my head has been full of questions...

How long do you hold your baby after she has passed away?  Then what? How much courage does it take to even walk out of the hospital room, let alone to your car and drive away from the hospital that you have spent endless hours in the last 4 months?  Who do you call first?  Do their words bring the comfort you had hoped for?  How do you fall asleep that first night, or in the nights to follow?  How many seconds are you awake the next morning before the depth of your new reality hits you?  How in the world, do you begin to plan the memorial service for such a little life that has touched so many people?  Do you want anyone to ask you how you are really doing, or wait until you bring it up?  How long until you are ready to go to church again?  How do you help your spouse to grieve while your heart is breaking too?  Do you feel guilty or rejoice the first day you don't cry over missing your baby?  How do you keep your baby's precious memory alive-- not only for you, but for others?  How will you celebrate and remember her life?  Will you ever feel whole again?  What can anyone do to help?

I can't imagine how hard today must be for our friends.  I can't imagine this road that lays before them.  I am so thankful that God knows, that He is there to carry them, to comfort them and to strengthen them.  I am praying that as they define their new normal and take each new step that God surprises them with joy and peace; that He guides them in this new normal of having a piece of them already in heaven.

Please be praying for our friends!

Here is a beautiful tribute to Jane's life that Amy Lashelle created!

Bug is 2

Sweet Baby Girl, how are you already 2?

I love the way your eyes light up when you smile

I love your sweet little moves when you dance

I love the way you love your daddy and brothers

I love your determination (though some days your determination challenges me)

I love that you love sleep

I love the way you joke around and try to make others smile

I love your hugs, kisses and snuggles

I love how sweet and shy you are around people you don't know very well

I love your daring personality and how brave you are

I love how you come up to me and say "Mama, hold you peas" {Mama hold me please}

I love your sensitivity to others and your compassion

I love how when you do something right, you say "Yay" and clap for yourself

 I love you crazy Bug!

Things you love...
Brushing your teeth*  Big Bro* Reading books* Swimsuits* Joshy* Chewing holes in your binky* Climbing in the car and into your carseat all by yourself* "Baby Why Why" {Baby Levi}* Balloons* Your baby brother* Sleep* Taking a shower* Taking a bath* Cheese* Doing anything a big kid would do* Going to the Beach* Taking shoes on and off* Goldfish* Daddy* Mama* Mac and cheese* Binky and blankets* Drawing* Helping in the kitchen* Music class* Elmo* Trains* In-n-out french fries*

Utah part 2

Our trip to Utah started out with a bang, busy, fun, lots of friends, smiles and more... that was short-lived...
On Tuesday we came down with the WORST case of the stomach flu ever!
Puking and ...well you know... by all 5 of us
It didn't just stop there... we also took down
2 of my neices
2 sweet 2 year old boys
my dear friend Kira
and I think at least one entire other family

We were down for the count for 5 days - seriously it was awful!  The first 24 hours were the worst, bowls, trashcans and towels lined my sister's house, sleeping on bathroom floors, achy bodies, no energy, chills, tears... Awful, I am telling you, it was the sickest I have ever been.  Kira and I agreed that we would both rather go through natural childbirth (with no drugs) than be that sick again!

So the sickness would have been bad enough even if we had been at home.  But each day that passed that another one of us was sick, was another day in Utah without seeing anyone.  Going into the trip we had plans for each day with friends.  We had really been looking forward to time connecting with everyone.  So when what we hoped was a 24 hour bug ruined the rest of our trip, I was really upset.  I mean really, who wants to drive that far, use up 5 of Mr. Steady's vacation days, just to be sick as a dog, and then to have to drive home with sick kids?!?!

I left disappointed, exhausted, with crushed expectations, and not ready to go back to Cali.  I am doing better now at embracing that it was what it was, and that being sad won't change anything.  But truth be told I am still a little sad!

There was one amazing thing about our trip... we were able to spend some great time with my sister and her girls!  So much time laying around the house gave us lots of time to catch up, chat and encourage each other.  My 2 teenage nieces are growing up so fast; if we weren't down for the count, we would have missed this very special time!  I am VERY thankful for our time at my sisters!

Utah

It is soooooo good to be back in Utah.  Okay, really it is a tad bitter sweet... but I won't get into that.  Here is glimpse of our last few days.
Friday... we drove 700+ miles
All in all the kids did great
despite a 30 minute stretch where Bug and BB both screamed simultaneously (poor H, sitting in-between them, we thought for sure he might loose it too, but he stayed happy!!)
Got to my sisters around 1am, with 3 sleeping little buddies
Tucked everyone in and crashed ourselves

Saturday and Sunday
Birthday party
trip to Costco
Dinner party to see some friends
mini birthday celebration (thanks to Kira) for H and Bug
Church
Brunch at Porcupine
Family time with my sister and her girls, and Mr. Steady's brother
Game time
Baby Shower for a friend
Small group
Sweet prayer time with friends

It has been a busy last 2 days!  I am trying to soak it all in... every conversation, each little person that has grown and changed in the last year, each color of leaf, the AMAZING mountains, the giggle of cousins, growing pregnant bellies of friends that didn't think they would ever be pregnant, the heaviness of real life, the beauty of Utah sunsets, the encouragement of friends... the last two days have been packed full!

Some of the beauty we have experienced...

From the Inside Out

I have has this song on my mind and heart the last few days:

From the Inside Out:
A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

**************

Read the words, let them really soak in!
The line that I am stuck on (in a good way, repeating over and over in my head) "Consume me from the inside out Lord."  It has become my prayer this week!
There are SO many ways that I desire for God to change me, and I am ready for heart change, for growth and for His perspective.  

BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Crockpot season is upon us... well more like, crockpot season is upon some of you... it was high 80's in Socal today, so didn't quite feel like crockpot weather.  Regardless of your current weather situation, here is a great and easy meal to make.

BBQ Pulled Pork

Directions:
1.  Buy 1 package of McCormick Slow Cookers BBQ Pulled Pork

2. The recipe on the back calls for

• 3 lbs. boneless pork (I use the tenderloin from Costco)
• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 1/3 cup cider vinegar

3.  Follow direction on the package

• Place pork in slow cooker
• mix seasoning, ketchup, brown sugar and vinegar, pour over pork, cover
• cook 8 hours on low or 4 hours on high.  Remove pork from slow cooker
• shred pork, using 2 forks, return to slow cooker, mix and heat with sauce
• serve on baguette or rolls
• I usually serve sweet potato fries with ours

Oh, and it goes great with a Diet Coke too : )

H is 5

How can it be that my little man is 5 years old??  He is growing up WAY too fast!  I love the boy (not little any more, but I can't dare say big either) that he is becoming!  H is such an amazing kid, I love watching his mind work as he tries to figure things out.  I love the big brother that he is to Bug and BB.  His desire for knowledge is unlike anything I have ever seen.  His memory of Bible verses and stories amazes me!  He is one great kiddo!

 

Highlights of this Past year:

Moving close to the beach

Making new friends

Skype sessions with grandparents and Aunts and Uncles

Cruising on his bike

Going to Awanas

Having a baby brother

Going to Sea World

Learning how to ride a scooter

Building sandcastles and getting buried in the sand

Starting Pre-school

Swimming

Going back to Utah to see friends and play in the snow

Starting to read

Looking for snails, insects and spiders in the back yard

Going to the pumpkin patch

Being the backseat helper with Baby Bro

Constantly doing math

Still loving dinosaurs, sharks, whales and spiders

Has done a great job making new friends

H, you amaze me all of the time!  I am so proud to be your mama!  I can't wait to see all that this next year holds... just do me a favor and don't grow up too fast!