Being fully present

I have been thinking so much about how I am missing out on little nuggets of life, missing the beat of our family song, half-heartedly being a part of a conversation... all because I am distracted, pulled in different directions and at times mentally "checking-out."

Just this weekend as Mr. Steady and I were on our way to Alaska, we had a glorious "day-date" in the Seattle airport for 3 hours!  On this random fun little date, I was embarrassed how many times I looked down at my phone to see if emails came through, to see if anyone had text me back, even fighting the urge to check facebook. Seriously, would you have wanted to be on a date with me.  Ummm, NO!

For me, I am constantly tempted to stay connected to others via my phone (text, email, facebook...) that I end up lessening my connection through real face time.  Once I realized I was doing this to Mr. Steady, and we talked about it a little, I confessed how often I am doing this to my kids.  "Just a minute H, I have to finish sending this text, then i will come and see what you are working on."  "Hold on, I can't answer that question buddy, I'm trying to consentrate on what this email says."

I don't quite know what the answer is, because we all know having technology at the tip of my fingures is often so very conveniant and can save time.  However, I need to get some pesonal limits in place, because as one friend said to me (about herself) "I don't want my kids to just remember my profile, of me looking at a screen.  I want more face to face time with my kids."  Oh so true!!!

I'm not wanting to limit media just for the sake of limiting it.  I see how much time I am spending on my phone, and honestly discourages me.  I don't like it because it shows me what is really going on in my heart, I realize how often I am looking at something on my phone just so I can "checkout." For instance, I just looked at the weather on my phone 5 minutes ago, I don't need to check it again... really I am disconnecting from the chaos of my own house, and covering up my selfish heart!  Maybe that is what it comes down to, me being selfish with my time.  Anyone else struggle with this?

I truly desire to figure out what is realistic, and what is right... for me.   I want my time to honor God, to treasure the relationships that God has put in my life, to live fully present in each moment, and to be considerate of those around me, even if they are only 3 years-old!  On the other hand, I have some amazing friends and ALL of our family that live hundreds of MILES away, that I don't have the pleasure of getting enough face time with... and in these relationships, I am SO very thankful for my phone to keep me connected.  How do I balance it??  I would love prayers for wisdom, conviction and strength to follow through, to be disciplined to have some non-phone HOURS in each day. 

I want to live in the moment!

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Maybe it is my fault my kids like screen-time so much.

Monkey see, monkey do!

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I must say, this post REALLY encouraged me, especially this quote...
"
“But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this.
I did not live in the moment enough..."  by Anna Quindlin

Patience

I need a little more patience in my life!  Especially when we are heading out the door, or it is bedtime!  It seems like I tend to be in a rush for both of these occasions... both of which happen daily... definitely an area I can't be complacent to not change!

I keep thinking about the fact that "LOVE is PATIENT!"  I want to love my husband, my kids, my friends, neighbors and strangers.  Yet, am I showing them patience??

Am I taking the time to really listen to what my child is trying to tell me?
Am I interrupting their story?
Am I listening fully (not letting my mind race a head to a to-do list)?
When milk is spilled or any other little acident happens, am I patient in instructing my little one to clean it up, or am I quickly get frustrated, loosing my cool and raising my voice?
When it is time to get in the car, am I planning for the time it takes to really load 3 little ones (and all their gear) up?  Or am I trying to hurry and rush everyone out the door, scrambling at the last minute?
Am I enjoying the process (especially bed-time), or am I just looking forward to it being done?
Am I making life feel like a crisis because of my impatient responses?
Is the clock or my child's heart more of the guide of my day?

I am by nature not a patient person!  Not at all!   I don't want to tell you my ugly answers to the questions above... so I won't.... but I can tell you that I so desire growth in this area!  And I am going to start praying daily for a patient heart!  A thankful heart that can be patient!

If you need some encouragement on patience, you should read this amazing post from Ann Voskamp.