This last week, Bug was asking a lot about when she was born. So I pulled up some pictures from the day she entered the world. Then I pulled up our old blog and read her the story about when she was born and how we chose her name. I was in tears, reading it to her. How was that already over 3 years ago?!?!?!? How quickly I had forgotten some of the details, the little things that made my heart flutter a little as I re-read it.
A few days before that I was reading H the journal I had started for him. The first entry was from when he was 2 years 9 months, and we were anticipating the birth of his little sister. I read him the words that I had written about the kind of big brother, I hoped and prayed he would be. And the tears flowed again, but not sad tears, tears of thanksgiving. You see I had forgotten all that I hoped he would be, because I just got used to it... I grew to expect it instead of cherishing the brother he was. He has been and still is every bit the big brother I prayed he would be. God so graciously, blessed our family with one incredible big brother!
Yes, I am sappy about babies... but I am also sappy about looking back at all God has done! All His goodness, all his blessings that come often times not in the packages we expected, but yet in the way He has perfectly planned. I never expected that H and Bug would be 3 years apart... yet even in that I now see God's blessings. I never planned that B would be only 19 months younger than Bug, yet again, God's perfect plan for our family. I will never be able to slow down time, yet I can cherish it in the moment and I can take the time to look back and continue to rejoice in God's goodness!
I have been reminded many times over this week that each healthy baby is a precious gift. May we never take the miracle of life for granted! And, I will just put this out there, if you need anyone to hold or love on your newborn... please pick me! My hubby might even pay you to help me get my baby-fix : )
I am much the same way---new babies & adoption make me tear up. Good friends just got their final approval to foster for ages 2 and under and I'm going to be a mess when they get a baby to foster! I can't help but wonder myself if there is another child in our future--I don't expect I'll get pregnant again, but that doesn't mean God can't bring a child to us in a different way.
ReplyDeleteWill he pay for you to fly out here??? Would love for you to love on baby Briella! :) Also, just have to tell you that the picture on here is exactly how I still picture H. Hard to believe that he is 6 now...time flies!
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